abrandonship: Archive

May 2012

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“Pizza” is my favorite.

Obama is the Brad Pitt in Ocean’s Eleven of U.S. Presidents.

“I will sodomize you and face-fuck you,
pussy Aurelius and catamite Furius…
…you think less of me as a man?
I will sodomize you and face-fuck you” —

Way to bookend, Catullus. Forget John 3:16, my sign says “Catullus 16:1.”

Dear Lifehacker,

How do I stem the constant flow of fear and regret that haunts the waking nightmare that passes for my life? Is there like…a webapp?

Thanks,

Tortured by the Dark Apparitions that Personify My Failures,

Akron, OH.

I think if you go looking for this information, you’re probably too far gone.

He said as he Instapapered the article in question.

Dear Lifehacker,

How do I make friends?

Sieze the day after tomorrow.

The Green Movement? Ugh! What have you been eating?

I had a pretty bad fungal infection once. I hated it at first, but it started growing on me.

I bet orphans get all sorts of sympathy poon. Cheer up orphans, it gets better.